One thing I’ve noticed about my blog is that my Aguila Roja post I wrote awhile ago generates the most hits. Now my blog doesn’t get that many hits in general (which is fine, I don’t have the time or energy to maintain a blog right now that gets a zillion comments or hits), but I was surprised to see other native English speakers looking for more information about the show too. I haven’t been watching the show as much, mostly because the channel I used to watch them on doesn’t air the episodes anymore. I have no idea when the new season is supposed to start… presumably after the movie has been released in theaters which it has. Lindsey and her boyfriend Richard decided to come see it with me. Lindsey has watched the show with me in the past so she was curious to see what the movie would be like. Richard came just because he is a good boyfriend.

So what did I think? Well… let’s just say people should stop making movies based off tv shows. They are rarely good or successful. All the ones I’ve seen in the past (Sex and the City, X Files) have been mediocre at best and were mostly made for the fans of the show. I’m not so sure I would have understood the Aguila Roja movie if I hadn’t kept up with the show.

The plot of the movie had mostly nothing to do with the show, which was probably done so that people who don’t watch the show could enjoy the movie. But I don’t know, I was expecting way more!

Lindsey and I pretty much giggled and commented throughout the movie (yeah we were those annoying people who talked the entire movie). But it was okay because there was barely anyone in the theater to begin with. And well, the plot was such slightly ridiculous and incohesive.

Basically France, Portugal, and England (I think?) all want a piece of Spain so they hatch this plot to kill the king. The woman in charge of poisoning the king, the Marquesa de Santillana, is forced to go along with it because the king of Portugal or whoever has her son locked in some well. So the Marquesa’s lover, the Comisario, kidnaps the poisoned king so she can get her son back.

Meanwhile, Aguila Roja decides he is finished with being Aguila Roja because his son gets burned in the eyes (and then goes blind), while he is fighting some dude trying to kill him. He burns all his Aguila clothing and very “dramatically” throws his katana sword in a lake.

But then the mysterious naked lady from the trailer comes along and asks Aguila to help find her father who is imprisoned in some tower. But Aguila has renounced his Aguila ways and refuses to help her. But then he does of course and rescues her father from his tower… oh and the king of Spain (who just so happened to be imprisoned in the same tower), who was about to be fed to some hungry tigers in a pit.

And then the King of Spain very dramatically rides into his palace on a horse and chases away the other kings who were trying to take away his kingdom.

The last shot of the movie is Aguila dramatically reclaiming his sword from the lake he threw it into. I kid you not, the last shot is him coming out of the water triumphantly brandishing his sword in slow mo. And then the movie ENDS.

There is no war, no major characters die, and all Aguila really does is save some random guy (and the king but he has already done that on the show). The plot was rather thin and well, the action scenes… left a lot to be desired.

In fact Richard let out a “WHAT?!” quite a few times when somehow Aguila dodges a bunch of bullets that there is no way he could have dodged unless he was Neo in the Matrix (which is what the scene kind of turned into… but hello, this is 15th century Spain, not a sci fi apocalyptic movie where you can bend the rules of space and time).

Anyways the movie was a completely corny crapfest, but it was rather entertaining. I laughed a LOT, which might not have been the director’s intention. I think the people just need a better budget… that would certainly help with the special effects.

I just wish the Comisario had a bigger role, he is my favorite character and I’m absolutely in love with him.

Here is an example of a ridiculous fight scene. Aguila manages to single handedly take down all the comisario’s men (the gray haired guy who comes in at the end) and well… a lot of slow mo is used.